Carl Weathers

Name: Carl Weathers
Occupation: Actor, Director of Scandal Makers
Culinary Favorites: Stew, ham, Burger King
Purchases all his cars from: Police Auctions
Portrayed by: Carl Weathers
Carl Weathers Quotes:

• "You know, just two adults getting a stew on."
• "Baby, you’ve got a stew going."
• "I got bumped from that flight. Apparently, they give you $300 if you get bumped. It’s this crazy loophole in the system that the wrong guy discovered. Guess where I won’t be going?"
• "Your wife works in a restaurant? Do they get a shift meal, or do they just pay half price on select menu items?"
• "I was doing this Showtime movie, Hot Ice with Anne Archer, never once touched my per diem. I’d go to Craft Service, get some raw veggies, bacon, Cup-A-Soup, baby, I got a stew going."

Lucille Austero

Name: Lucille Austero
Aliases: Lucille Two
Chief Social Rival: Lucille Bluth
Residence: Balboa Towers
Disorders: Chronic vertigo
Men who have chased her: Buster Bluth, GOB Bluth, Stan Sitwell, Carl Weathers
Charity Auction Worth: $10,000
Portrayed by: Liza Minnelli
Lucille Austero Quotes:

• "No, I mean stop it!"
• "I’m going to my spin class."
• "Man, that old lady has really done a number on you, hasn't she?"
• "Should I put the Posturepedic in the down position?"
  

Buster Bluth

Name: Buster Bluth
Legal Name: Byron Bluth
Nickname: Baby Buster
Marital Status: Single
Occupation: Post-graduate, former copy room/construction worker for Bluth Company
Son of: Lucille Bluth & Oscar Bluth
Sports Played: None, he was just a turd out there
Schooling: Milford Academy
Scholarly Pursuits: Cartography, Native Indian tribal ceremonies, sleep deprivation, 18th Century Agrarian Business, effects of THC, playing with himself
Pets: Mother (turtle)
Suffers from: Crippling panic attacks, Oedipus Complex, and is legally blind at night
Women he's chased: Lucille Austero, Starla, Adelaide, Lupe, Lucille Bluth?
Toughest, Most Street-smart kid he knows: George-Michael Bluth
Favorite Movies: Chicago, Star Wars
Fears: Seals, the ocean, Catalina, confined spaces, active duty
Skills: Skill crane, Army skills, Seal (for marksmanship), Gorilla (for sand racing)
Magazine Covers: Balboa Bay Window
Awards: Cutest Couple, Saddest
Portrayed by: Tony Hale
Buster Bluth Quotes:

• "Hey brother"
• "I'm a monster!"
• "Cause I'm an uptight...[expletives deleted]...Buster!...[expletives deleted]...YOU OLD HORNY SLUT!"
• "Mom says it's too windy."
• "Yeah, like anyone would want to 'r' her."
• "I like making love to mother."
  

Lucille Bluth

Name: Lucille Bluth
Marital Status: Married (to George Bluth, Sr.)
Also Goes By: Gangy
Occupation: Co-Chair of Bluth Foundation, Former USO Performer
Residence: Balboa Towers
Key Attributes: She gets off on being withholding, Alcoholism, Emotionally demoralizing her children
Awards: Motherboy Cutest Couple
Magazine Covers: Balboa-Bay Window
Least Favorite Restaurant: Klimpy's
Chief Social Rival: Lucille Austero
Television Appearances: World's Worst Drivers
Daughter of: Nana
Biological Mother of: G.O.B. Bluth, Michael Bluth, Buster Bluth
Legal Guardian of: Lindsay Fünke, Annyong Bluth
Portrayed by: Jessica Walter
Lucille Bluth Quotes:

• "Oscar, close it, you look like the window to a butcher shop."
• "You're high!"
• "Everything they do is so dramatic and flamboyant. It just makes me want to set myself on fire."
• "Do you boys know how to shovel coal?"
• "Oh, hello Buster. Here's a candy bar. No, I'm withholding it. Look at me, getting off! "
• "Mama horny Michael."
• "How am I supposed to find someone willing to go into that musty old claptrap?"
• "No juice for you, you just get more awful."
  

George Oscar (GOB) Bluth, Jr.

Name: George Oscar Bluth, Jr. (GOB)
Marital Status: Divorced
Occupation: Former President of Bluth Company, Co-Founder of The Magicians Alliance, Co-Founder of Gobias Industries, USO Magician, Accidental Waiter, Former Hot Cops performer, Bailiff for Bud Cort
Son of: George Sr. & Lucille Bluth
Father of: STEVE HOLT!
Softball Position: Outfield/All over the field
Accomplishments: ...
Vehicle: Segway
Magazine Covers: Poof
Movies: Boyfights, Boyfights 2, A Boyfight's Cookout, Backseat Boyfights: The Trip to Uncle Jack's 70th, Girls With Low Self-Esteem
Friends: Franklin Delano Bluth
Music Albums: 1 (Franklin Comes Alive!)
Software: Gob's Program
Magic Illusions: Walk on water, The Burning Bush, Magic Coffin, Saw the lady in half trick, Wine into water, Aztec Tomb, King of Kings, Disappearing Yacht, Sword of Destiny, Free Chicken
Women he's claimed to have had Pop Pop with: Marta Estrella, Nellie, Lucille Austero, Kitty Sanchez, Starla, His ex-wife, Nahzgalia, Mrs. Whitehead
Women he's actually had Pop Pop with: Marta Estrella, Lucille Austero, Kitty Sanchez, His ex-wife, Nahzgalia, Mrs. Whitehead
Portrayed by: Will Arnett
Gob Bluth Quotes:

• "I've made a huge mistake."
• "Come on!"
• "Whenever this family runs into any problems, it's always oh, let's have Gob fuck our way out of it."
• "Takes his queen, and showers her with DIAMONDS!...clubs...club sauce, he covers her in club sauce."
• "Illusion, Michael. A trick is something a whore does for money."
• "I've got this christian girlfriend now, and she's trying to get me to be a better man and reconnect with my son, and I'm trying to get her to renounce God and fuck me, and I just want to prove to her that I'm worth it."
• "Hey if I can't find a horny immigrant by then, I don't deserve to stay here."