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Sunday, April 5, 2009

Tobias Fünke


Name: Tobias Fünke
Nicknames: T, Uncle T-Bag, Tobi
Marital Status: Married (to Lindsay Fünke)
Father of: Maeby Fünke
Occupations: Chief resident of psychiatry at Massachusetts General Hospital, Analrapist, Musician, Actor, Security Guard, Blue Man Group understudy, High school theater director, Owner of The Queen Mary, Administrative Assistant for the Bluth Company, Co-founder of Gobias Industries,
Acting Roles: Frightened inmate #2, Confidence Man #2, George Bluth, Sr. (Scandal Makers), Torture Victim #4
Books: The Man Inside Me
Videos: Families With Low Self-Esteem
Bands: Dr. Fünke's 100% Natural Good Time Family Band Solution, Whip-and-Snaps Barber Shop Quartet
Psychiatric Afflictions: Never-nude
Physical Afflictions: Graft vs. Host
Portrayed by: David Cross
Tobias Fünke Quotes:
  • "I just blue myself."
  • "Do these effectively hide my thunder?"
  • "Even if it means me taking a chubby, I will suck it up."
  • "Let Lilly lick Lionel's lusty leathers."
  • "Don't leave your uncle T-Bag hanging"
  • "I’m afraid I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run if you will, so I’m afraid I have something of a mess on my hands."
  • "If I may take off my acting pants for a moment and pull my analrapist stocking over my head…"
  • "OH MY GOD, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale."
  • "Douche chill!"
  • "And second-of-ly, I know you're the big marriage expert. Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot, your wife is dead."
  • "Ah, the clumsy adolescence, it's a phase we've all been through. Except for me, I was like a cat. I always ended up on all fours...like a cat."

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